People Can Disappoint but God does not. True or False?

Many of us would have heard this phrase being said one time or another. Said to console ourselves or others when someone gets let down. 

What triggered me to write this post? Well, a few weeks ago my wife felt let down by some of her co-workers. As we were in the car on the way home from work, she was talking about how upset she felt and at the same time she understood that the incident was very trivial and thus should not have affected her to that degree. In and attempt to make herself feel better, she then went on to say "People will disappoint you but God will not".

I have heard this many times before but never really thought much about it, other than the fact that it made sense all those times I've heard it. Perhaps it was due to the overarching belief that God is perfect while man is fallible. 

But this time it was different. When I heard my wife say it, it did not sit well with me. Perhaps it was the stirring of the Holy Spirit. 

What is the real meaning behind this saying? What does it mean to a follower of Christ?

Even as a disciple of Christ, is it even possible for God to disappoint us?

Here's my take: Man has constantly disappointed God, grieved the Holy Spirit and will continue to do so for a long long time. But for another person to disappoint me, 2 criteria must fulfilled.

1st Criteria: We must have an expectation of the other person to meet. Be it his/her behavior, moral standard, value system and/or capability etc...

2nd Criteria: The other person must fail to meet that expectation.

While God certainly has the prerogative to place expectations on his creations, is right for us to have expectations of others or even God? Who or what gives us the right to place expectations on others? We then get upset and disappointed when these expectations are not met. Is it our pride and vanity taking over, when we decide on a "standard that another must fulfill"?

I have come to the realization that when another person disappoints me, it is as much my own failing. Its something to ponder about. Its true that people will always disappoint, its because of our own failing that we will place expectations on others. If we continue to do that, then we will be disappointed.

A wise mentor once shared with me that one of "best ways for a happy marriage is to have no expectations."

On to the 2nd part of the statement. I have heard of believers being disappointed with God. Why? Again it has to do with our expectations on how we expect God to love, bless and deliver us. Having God confined to your understanding of Love, blessing and deliverance will definitely lead to disappointment.

Conclusion - 

Love unconditionally. The next time someone disappoints me, I have to ask myself if I have loved that person unconditionally. If I am offended or upset, I will need to look inside myself and identify the problem. I like to say "If the intent was not to cause offence, the offended is the one with the problem". If we place our love of God above that of our expectations of others, will there still be disappointment in our lives?

Love God unconditionally, and acknowledge that he is the creator and we are his creations. Trust in his love and that he will not forsake us. Don't put God in box and expect him to stay within those boundaries.

It certainly adds perspective to daily living doesn't it? I hope this helps you, the reader, as much as it help me when I was writing it.

Ephesians 5:1

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

About Trust, Faith and Clarity

A short while ago, I was preparing my notes on Matthew chapter 12 during the weeks leading up to a bible study meeting.

One of the discussion points referred to verses 38-42.
“An evil and adulterous generation seeks after a sign…” So is it wrong to ask for a sign?

My initial thoughts were "What's wrong with asking for a sign?" Jonathan asked for a sign (1 Samuel 14:8-10) and Gideon asked for repeated signs (Judges 6).

My conviction at that time was "it is alright to ask for a sign when you are ready to believe the sign and are ready to carry out God’s will." Usually seeking a direction or making a decision. The core motivation has be “I want to keep in alignment with God”.

Some call it “putting out a fleece” with reference to Gideon. Much like randomly picking a bible verse or tossing a coin. In this time of grace, it is alright as a tool for discerning God’s will for an early or young believer. However, I am now of the opinion that the need to “put out a fleece” should diminish with an increase in spiritual maturity and with increased intimacy with God.

I feel that the underlying thought of many when ask for a sign is  "I want/need to make sure I get a good deal" or to "Ensure a way to a better life".

For Example:
Will my work life be pleasant if I choose to accept this job offer?
Will my marriage life work or be happy, if I choose to marry this person?
Will my kid have a good future if I choose to enrol them in a particular school?
God help me choose the way to a better life please....

I too have been guilty of such prayers, many many times. Praying "Dear Father in heaven, grant me clarity to decide!". I have even used a coin toss. "God, heads I will do this, tails I will do that. Please help me decide!".

A common occurrence would be, we have already decided in our hearts what we want to do. Which job we want to take and which guy/girl we want to marry etc... We just want some form reassurance from God.

"What is so bad about seeking reassurances?" some may ask. Well I am convicted that we should have already been assured of God's Love for us and that he will never forsake us. God in his grace may indulge us in our need for reassurances but as we grow closer to God is there continued need for it? Many in our own insecure way, we continually seek God's assurances. As a young believer, I believe that its alright, but as we grow in the faith, there should be a growing trust the Lord and therefore less need to "divine" his will.

God’s isn’t a vending machine just sitting there to dispense what we want, when we want. (Note the use of the word want as opposed to need, as I firmly believe we already have and will always have what we need through the Love and Grace of Our father in Heaven.) God is not at our beck and call, but rather it is the other way around! We are at God’s beck and call. We are supposed to do what he wants, when he wants. But God is a perfect gentleman and does not force is will onto us.

This ends my notes for that word study "homework" I was writing about earlier.

A few days after that, my wife shared with me an article she read about praying for clarity and trusting God. The article concluded that trust is what we should have and therefore we do not need to be praying for clarity. If we lack trust in God, then we should be praying for trust instead. Once we are able to trust the Father in Heaven wholly and completely, clarity will come.

Signs are not there to help you believe. I am now convicted that picking out a random bible verse or tossing a coin to seek assurances for our decisions, is akin to divination. If you want a sign to know what the future holds then where is part where we are working out our faith? Where is the trust in God as you take a step forward day after day?

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Take for example players in a team sport, say football (Or soccer in the U.S. and Australia). The greater the closeness between the players, the less assurances they need from a teammate with regard to a certain move or tactic during a match. At some point, you may hear game commentators use the words "almost telepathic" connection between two players. If Player A makes a certain move, then his teammate player B will execute a complimentary move and this complimentary move differs with each match, but there will be basic fundamentals that govern these moves. Player A knows this and has full trust that his teammate will not fail him. If you follow any kind of team sport at the highest level, you will observe this from time to time. This level of understanding and trust comes with a high degree of training and working out together as a team. The very same thing can be said for our relationship with God. You cannot go through life thinking that you are on your own, but always be aware that you have a teammate along with you all the way. The perfect teammate to have who will complement your every move, trust Him.

In the article about trust that my wife shared with me, the author referenced the book "Ruthless Trust" as a book that challenged my "perspective of God".

John 14:1-3
Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. (Jesus)